New Year, Really New Me?

Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

2017 was the year I finally realized how much insecurity I’ve always struggled with. I always knew they were there but I always thought they were a part of me in so much as that weird birthmark that you’ve always had on your skin. Ironically, I berated myself for even having these insecurities which was the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I think I had enough of these inner demons this year and I wanted to quiet them. I started trying to love and forgive myself more and truly learning from my mistakes. I tried to remember that everywhere I go, I deserved to be there and if I find myself shrinking within myself, I ask myself why? and remembering that the insecurities I have are so small in the long run, I might as well show my authentic self. I think that’s what I wanted most, to be able to be happy and comfortable in who I am. I make a lot of mistakes but I accept them and ask myself what can be done better and move on. I  even had moments this year when I realized old me would have never done something like that. Usually when I did that last year, I would have had way more self loathing. I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come in 2017. There is still so much more left to do but I’ve come miles last year. Looking back on where I was at the beginning of the year and looking now at where I am, I never thought, for a second, that this is where life would take me but I’m so grateful for it. Of course, a good year cannot happen without the help of my amazing friends and, for the first time ever, an amazing boyfriend(I know y’all are reading this). Having a job really proved that I could work through adversity and that I am capable. I should trust myself more. I can’t be anything else other than who I am so why not embrace it? This year, I’ve also come to realize how important my health is. I had wisdom teeth surgery this year and I had post surgery infections and a lot of side effects after I took antibiotics and it just showed me how much of my health I’ve been taking for granted so I want to make my health more seriously. 2017 was definitely a growing up year but it was the best year I’ve had in so long. The big things made me happen but so did the small things. It was if someone was looking out for me last year. I hope the good streak continues to last in 2018. Cheers to a new year and new adventures! =)

Personal Resolutions

  • Find more creative and self improvement outlets.
    • My creative outlets have always been Youtube and my blog but I want to find more diversity of creative outlets like podcasts, movies, games, makeup, fashion, and graphic design. These are places where I have always found passion but this year I want to hone in on more of my creative side with them and basically broaden my creative horizons.
  • Eat more vegetables and exercise 2x a week.
    • I realize when I’m making a health goal I have to start small, otherwise I will not go through with it so I think this goal is pretty feasible.
  • Journal at least once a week.
    • The consequence of being busier than ever is that I don’t get as much time to self reflect which is something that is foreign to me. I think telling myself to journal at least once a week will help me center myself more and create a space for myself.
  • Focus on what I can do in the present.
    • Too often, I focus on what I do not have and what other fun things people are doing. I realize there are certain things about my circumstances that I can’t change right now and I hope I can channel that restlessness into productivity and doing what I can do instead of self pity.

Reading Resolutions

  • Read for at least 20 uninterrupted minutes a day.
    • I realize that whenever I read now, I had to keep checking my phone every 5 minutes and even that took away from my reading experience so I hope that in 2018, I can read for at least that allotted time without distractions.
  • Read 40 books
    • I’ve literally cut my end goal by half so I don’t put as much stress on myself this year.
  • Continue to read short story collections/essay collections.
    • I had a goal every year before this to read a diversity of formats and so far it has worked out very well. I think after this I can stop doing this and hope that I can just read diversely on my own without having to set a goal for it.

Blogging Resolutions

  • Post at least 2x a month.
    • There are several reasons for this. This year, I’ve found that my blog posts have been too sporadic and I realize that I’ve been sacrificing quality to post up content. The writing itself has probably suffered, my banners and headers have definitely deteriorated and by the end, I hadn’t included them at all. I just want to produce content that I am proud of this year. Not to say that I wasn’t proud of my content this year but it could have been better so let’s say I want to do 4 reviews this month, ideally it’ll force me to write all four but I think realistically it will at least force me to write better about two of the ones I pick.
  • Go back to posting up quarterly “What I’ve Been Watching” posts and “Monthly Favorites”
    • I realized this year that I really miss doing the Monthly Favorites post and I miss having this record of the highlights of the month. Part of the problem for Monthly Favorites was that I didn’t have a good phone to take pictures with but now I do so I have no excuse not to do this post.
    • I also miss keeping track of what I’ve been watching for the past few months. It gave me a chance to analyze the movies that I don’t want to review so I’m going to try and do more of those this year.

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2 thoughts on “New Year, Really New Me?

  1. So proud of you Carolyn! I’ve seen you grow & change this year and am so happy for you (esp the bf part 😉 ). I love what you’ve written about being comfortable in your own skin; it’s such a good reminder and honestly SO applicable haha. Have an amazing 2018 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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