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Carolyn Reacts to Negative Amazon Book Reviews

When I’m looking up book reviews on Amazon, I can’t tell whether reviewers are being serious or trolling me half the time. But reading the negative reviews are so fun because they’re sometimes just really funny because they’re just..plain..wrong. But anyways, I compiled a few of the funniest ones I’ve encountered recently..

Cress by Marissa Meyer


Girl, if this book doesn’t promote health, positive relationships, I don’t know what does. Also, are you saying I should stop reading this book because it has cooties?? Also, I didn’t know “kissier” was a word.

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White


Well…that’s unfortunate. I The spider probably crawled in between the pages while someone was packaging it and the person got scared so they just closed the book on it lol. Glad you enjoyed the book though..

The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman


Well first of all, I’m insulted, I haven’t heard from your people yet. Second of all, EFAAAL sounds like a cult. And lastly, I really want to meet these “frieds”.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding


The only thing I got from this was how he/she spelled hell.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen



but also, Jane Austen was satirizing the social norms of her time; it wasn’t necessarily meant to be a romantic book but come on, how can you not like Elizabeth and Darcy together.


I’m pretty sure making Pride and Prejudice a 3D movie is not going to change your attitude about it. I mean maybe if they served you tea in the theater or if you could somehow feel Darcy’s coat? Oh wait, that’s 4D..kind of..


Please calm down..


You’re welcome.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald


  1. Please stick to picture books then
  2. Have you lived in this world before?
  3. I hope you took a time machine and saw a movie from 1924 because this book was written in 1925

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers


Yup this book was the whole reason why you felt like throwing away your virginity. And this book contains a lot of rape so I really hope rape does not make you think in a lustful way..

Have you read any funny reviews lately? What are some ridiculous reviews you’ve stumbled across in your years as a reader?



18 thoughts on “Carolyn Reacts to Negative Amazon Book Reviews

      1. haha, I actually follow all of these except problemsofabooknerd but I do follow her on Youtube! I think cause I prefer lookign at pics of pretty books on tumblr haha. Thanks for the recs!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. These are priceless!! Thanks for sharing. I especially love the dead spider one…. 2 stars because of a dead spider, not any of the actual content in the book 😀

    I reckon the the Golden Compass one is either a joke or truly written by a disturbed cult member (I think The His Dark Materials trilogy is often analysed by scholars for its anti-organised-religion messages so perhaps EFAAAL took issue with those? Who knows…). And the last one is just kinda disturbing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, I know, esp cause she said the book was good too but still gave it a low rating. I don’t understand ahah..
      Yeah that book is so polarizing and the only reason why it’s polarizing is because of the religious aspect. I must admit that part totally blew over my head when I first read it. Then again, my first time reading it was in like 5th grade and I just liked the fact that there were essentially animal sidekicks lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes that part totally went over my head too (was also very young when I read it) – only learned about it years later when a search in a library database brought up all these analyses of it!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow I have not been keeping up with your blog for a while..but I think this was hilarious.
    I liked the One Star review when he/she said: Thanks. This deserved a post because I have seen so many strange reviews out there and it needed some recognition.

    Liked by 1 person

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